A tree and a nudist

I'm trying to stop gushing about the autumn leaves, but I can't help it. There's this path I walk down on my way to school that is lined by trees on either side, and it makes me feel like a movie. Now that November has dawned bright and clear after our rainy October, I can look up and see all of the leaves lit against the clear blue sky. Bordered by beauty, I feel like this one little slice of reality is perhaps all as it should be, God's will being done on earth by His inanimate creations, at least.

To continue my obvious obsession, I decided to dress up as a tree for Halloween. I also didn't want to spend any money on a costume, so this fit the bill. I wore a brown skirt and brown sweater and taped leaves to my arms. Ken's costume was even easier: he wore his normal clothes and a sign around his neck that said "nudist on strike." We're all about simplicity, right?

Last Friday, we had two Halloween parties to go to. The first was hosted by the law school. We went to the pre-party that was held at the university, and then went on to a friend's apartment. The law school goes all out for the party itself, renting out a bar for four hours and opening up an unlimited tab. Of course, it also costs money, so I excused my absence to anyone who asked by mentioning our other party and desire to save money. But at some point that evening, I realized that I actually had no desire to go to the bar, even had it been free. Standing shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of drunk people, getting beer spilled on you, not being able to hear the person next to you - it's just not my scene. I'm more about having a good conversation over a glass of wine, be that at a less crowded bar or in someone's living room. This was actually sort of a revelation for me. For awhile after college, I felt like I had missed out on the bar scene. It was refreshing to realize that I'm okay with skipping out on that craziness. And we really enjoyed our friend's party.

Even though I mostly write about non-academic activities, classes have really been consuming my time and keeping me pretty busy. I'm trying not to drive Ken crazy or get too stressed out. The end of the semester is looming far too close, and I don't even have enough time for all of my current classwork, much less studying for finals. But I still enjoy it. I just have to remind myself of that some times. I hope all of you are having great, non-stressful weeks. Until next time...

Masquerade

The fall leaves have absolutely mesmerized me this week. Watching trees transform day by day is truly incredible and has brought a new freshness to my walk to and from school. It’s like seeing a sunset depicted by a leaf mosaic. I’ve thought about taking pictures, but the ephemeral and ever changing nature of the change is part of the magnificence. A photo might help describe why I am so entranced, but it won’t actually entrance anyone else. You just gotta get out and enjoy this beautiful autumn for yourself!

In the midst of that, the semester is gearing up. It’s time to start preparing for finals, and we’re working on our biggest paper assignment of the semester. I still find plenty of time, however, to attend some of the extra events held at the law school. This week there was a speaker who had represented some of the detainees at Guantanamo. Courts have found that thirty of the detainees were being held without cause. However, only about ten of those thirty have been released. The other twenty face persecution if sent back to their own country, and there is a political battle going on about which countries will accept them as refugees. And these are all people who have been found to not be “enemy combatants.” Imagine being stuck in jail even though you didn’t do anything, knowing you can’t return to your own country, and being told that no other country wants you. If you’re interested, the New York Times has an article here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/21/us/21scotus.html?_r=1&emc=tnt&tntemail1=y.

On a different note, Ken and I went to see Phantom of the Opera Friday night at the Fox. It was incredible! The only professional theater productions that I have attended have been at the Muny, which is a great venue but is definitely a little bit lower tier than a full professional theater. Last night was great, especially since Phantom is one of my favorite musicals. We decided to go all out for it, so Ken wore his tux and I wore one of my big black bridesmaid dresses. When else can you play dress-up as an adult? I’m not all that into fashion, but playing dress-up was one of my favorite pastimes when I was younger.

One of the songs in Phantom is called "Masquerade," and it talks about hiding your face so that the world will never find you. It's sung during a costume party, and it of course also refers to the Phantom of the Opera, who wears a mask and hides from the world. But it's an interesting idea for reflection. First, the typical idea that we need to get rid of our own masks. And second, that we might be able to look beyond the masquerade around us. Since I'm thinking about Guantanamo, it seems an apt example. It hides behind the curtain of our own indifference or a lack of publicity or political rhetoric or whatever. But if we look behind the curtain, there's a lot of pain and suffering all around us. And a lot of beauty, too, like that perched on the branches above and falling to the ground below. Like the blind man healed by Jesus in today's Gospel, let's open our eyes this week.

Ziggy!

It's the age old story: boy and girl fall in love, get married...and get a cat. Meet Ziggy, our 3 year old, short-haired, domestic tabby. We brought him home earlier this week. He's super friendly and loves sitting on the couch with me and Ken during movie night.

In other news, I've been out of school for fall break since Wednesday afternoon, but I've still been really busy. Thursday I spent organizing notes for finals studying. Yesterday I had the opportunity to tour the St. Louis County Public Defender's office. The Career Services Office at WashU set up the tour. It was really interesting and heartbreaking at the same time. I'm not saying we should let people who commit crimes off the hook, but the system really strips them of their dignity. It's hard to imagine prison having a restorative effect on anyone.

Tomorrow we're planning to go apple picking. I'm all excited about fall food. I bought a bunch of squash from the farmers' market, and I'm going to bake the pumpkins soon. We also got some garlic that is supposed to stay good throughout the winter, and I bought some local onions and peppers to freeze. Once we get the apples, we'll have to break out our dehydrator again - dried apples are SO delicious, and they're a great way to enjoy local fruit in the middle of the winter. I'm also hoping to can some applesauce.

As for today, I really need to hit the books. Ken is looking forward to the Notre Dame - USC game.

I apologize for this uninspiring post. I often think about facebook status updates and how silly they are. I don't really care if so-and-so is at the grocery store. But then I come to our blog and just write a consolidated form of all the potential status updates from throughout the week. But if I attempt to write something thought-provoking, it usually turns out pretty depressing. I could have written about how I've been dwelling this week on the difficulties of creating true positive change on a societal level. We feel dis-empowered and end up creating bandaids, hoping that we can some how have a trickle-up effect on society as a whole. But I certainly don't have any ideas on how to create big change. So there you go - my depressing thought of the week. I guess we just have to keep working at living our way to the answers, because I certainly don't have them at my fingertips.

No Free Time

It's somewhat laughable to see that my last post was entitled "free time" when I feel like I have had nothing of the sort for the last two weeks. And hence my lack of posts. But I have had a great deal of enjoyable recreational time; it's just that I have spent it with friends rather than on my own. Two weekends ago I had the privilege of seeing a good high school friend get married in Kansas City, and just last weekend a couple friends from Chicago came down and stayed with us. They brought their adorable four-month old along, as well. So I have had plenty of fun and community building, accomplished just barely enough work, and had very little free time during the last couple weeks. Which is perhaps as it should be. Keeping my priorities straight while in law school has been an important subject of prayer for me lately.

We have a glorious midterm break beckoning us forward this week - I'll be off Thursday and Friday, studying but free. I'll make sure to make time for a more thorough post next weekend. Until then, enjoy the beautiful fall weather!

Free Time

Law school has changed the way I think. Classes often present us with situations where we have to find logical constructions that explain the difference between two situations. I often wake from dreams in which I’m doing just that. Law school dominates my sleep, though I blessedly don’t remember more than a brief glimpse of it upon waking. In fact, last night was the first time in weeks that I have had and remembered a non-law-related dream. As I walk to and from school, these thought patterns are solidified as my mind wanders. I often find I’m still searching for words, for descriptions, for ways to piece together my experiences in a perfectly worded pattern. It would be great to apply to creative writing, although I certainly don’t have time for that these days.

Of course, we all say we’re too busy for such and such, but it’s all a matter of priorities. I’ve recently been spending some time to maintaining my French and trying to learn Spanish. I spend at least an hour a week volunteering, and I spend almost an hour each day walking to and from school. I still hang out with friends and family. Law school might dominate my time, but it hasn’t completely overtaken it.

Speaking of which, I need suggestions for uplifting reading. I make sure to find time to read for "fun" outside of my reading for law school. But I tend to pick somewhat depressing books. I'm currently reading Strength in What Remains, by Tracy Kidder. It's an incredible book, but genocide might not be the best subject for me to dwell on during my free time. Not that I'll quit reading it. But I'd like my next selection to be a little more hopeful. I'm not looking for corny inspirational writing. Just something that will keep me from despairing about the state of our world and humanity. Thanks in advance!

I don't like to shower.

I realize that I haven't spoken much about the cornerstones absent my study of law for awhile, so I figured today I would write about simplicity. Specifically: showering. I happen to only shower twice, or maybe three times, a week. Gasp! I actually feel kind of funny admitting it. But I suppose it goes to show that our societal norms can be thwarted without especial difficulty, and one can still function in society quite easily. I don't think many of my classmates would guess that I am an infrequent showerer (yes, I'm making up this word and plan to use it throughout the post. If one can be a bather, why not a showerer?). And I, in turn, get to claim the mantle of simplicity. But more on that later.

Why don't I shower often? Well, I got used to it at the Farm, where I was a strict once a week showerer. As a result, my hair doesn't get greasy as quickly and my mind doesn't crave an early morning shower to get myself going. In addition, I only have to style my hair once every few days. Now, if we're realistic, this isn't that great of an advantage - I only take about 2 minutes to "style" it, and perhaps 1 minute any other day to brush it. Nonetheless, I do get to save that 10 minutes I would be in the shower each day, and I of course save the water that would be running during that time.

Ken showers rather more often than I do. He had no part in this post, and I'm hoping he has no qualms about me sharing this with all of you. Knowing Ken, I doubt he would. Anyway, he got a special showerhead that not only has reduced flow, but also has a switch that shuts off the flow without shutting off your water. Advantage: you don't have to get the temperature right each time you turn off or on the water. So he only uses water at the beginning and end of his showers - maybe 2 minutes of water each time - and perhaps beats me if we're looking purely at water usage as a measuring stick for our showers.

Okay, so here's the point: why do we care? Is it really a strong statement of simplicity, or am I just being lazy? I like sleeping in or going to bed early without that requisite 15 minutes in the shower. I like not worrying about my hair for three or occasionally four days at a time. We have less laundry to do, too. And how is it simple? We save water and theoretically gain 15 minutes for community building activities each day. I think the convenience factor is unfortunately weighing much heavier on the scale than that of simplicity.

Nonetheless, there are other, and likely more important, rationales for such action. We talked a lot at the Farm about solidarity. I led one morning prayer on toilets - pleasant morning meditation - and about the many, many people around the world without access to sanitary systems. Why did we use outhouses at the Farm? Sure, it saved a little bit of water. But it also made us more aware of all those who live without bathrooms. When we are aware of the inconvenience such alternatives cause us, we are more likely to work on behalf of our brothers and sisters who do not have alternatives.

Alright, I think I'm just babbling. I'm curious what people think, though. Is limiting your showers an expression of simplicity? Is it a substantive act of solidarity? Or is it best when limited to a week-long experience like the Farm? And let's just assume I don't stink. Just for the sake of argument. :)

Weekend Wrap-up

As the weekend draws to a close, I am struck by how much fun we crammed into these two short days. Of course, that means I finished much less work than I had hoped. But even if I'm not ahead, I'm at least caught up, and that's accomplishment enough, I suppose.

The list of fun events included lunch with a friend and then a visit to the St. Louis Art Show yesterday. I was really into art in high school and continued to enjoy it on a much more limited basis in college, so I always enjoy such events. While I was at the art show, Ken put up some drywall on the ceiling of a house being built by an organization much like Habitat. He also watched the Notre Dame game, which he enjoyed until they lost. Today we went to Mass, and then I had an intramural ultimate frisbee game. I'm on a co-ed team with the law school. I scored 3 of our 12 points and our team won - pretty exciting. Ken baked our bread today - perhaps his first time doing it start to finish all by himself - and it turned out great. This afternoon I met up with some other law students who are starting a French conversation group. After that, my parents took us out for pizza for Ken's birthday.

In addition to the fun activities, I had a volunteer orientation yesterday morning for a program through the Red Cross that is attempting to educate high school students about humanitarian law. I'll be sent out with a partner at least once and possibly more often during the year to give a presentation to local students. Why? I didn't get a very clear answer on that. But it's definitely important for people to know world issues like child soldiers, land mines, and the Geneva Convention. The Red Cross really emphasizes human dignity, which is a good take-home message for high schoolers. It's a value I've thought a lot about because of its prominent place at the center of Catholic Social Teaching.

But I came away from the training absolutely depressed. Each presentation includes a video, and some of them were horribly graphic. While informative and thought provoking, the presentations provide no steps for the students to take in response. Why watch videos of kids' limbs being blown off if there isn't a point? What is the point? I'm all for educating people about the way our brothers and sisters around the world live. But then there needs to be a way for us to channel our empathy and guilt and frustration into something productive. Otherwise, we end up becoming apathetic, cynical, developing compassion fatigue, thinking the world is a horrible place and there is nothing we can do about it.

In response to the training, I'm fighting against my own tendency toward cynicism and overwhelming guilt. I'm praying that I will be able to find direction through my study of law - that I'll be able to use my new skills to work towards positive change in our world. And of course it starts now, not when I graduate. Today's homily was about how our actions speak louder than words. Who do we say Jesus is? Our actions tell the story. We are all very blessed. Let's use those blessings for the good of all around us.